Disarming Rejection

BACK STORY

As a middle child of three children in a traditional ‘middle-eastern’ minded family, I had many of the ‘middle child syndrome’ issues.  My brother was the eldest and only boy which made him the automatic heartbeat of my father (till this day), the heir to his business and what seemed to be the joy of his life.  My little sister was the baby and the treasured child to my mother who was told not to have any more children due to her health.

I was seemingly without any special niche in my family structure.  This dynamic caused me to always be trying harder at simple tasks, trying to get my moment in the spotlight.  Frequently however, my spotlight came when discipline was doled out by my mother.  My brother, did get his share, however it felt like I was the fall-guy too often due to the excuse that my sister was “only a baby” and my brother is “just being a boy”, but I should have known better.

As I grew older, I became quite mellow dramatic and was an active day dreamer, always dreaming of the time when I would be the center of someone’s life.

It seems reasonable then to see why I would have married my first real boyfriend who continually told me how special I was and that “no one in the world would love me like how he loved me.”  I was hooked.  What a setup. 

A PROBLEM WITH REJECTION

Fast forwarding many years to the age of about 30; I was a young Christian, a mother of two small children and now endeavoring to trust God in my loveless marriage.  I did not as yet understand about suffering and hardships and I was told that if I only had enough faith, God would rescue me.  If I just believed enough God would save my husband and cause him to love me again and we would live a happy little life with our children.

Believing a lie or not being exposed to the truth will allow carnal and selfish emotions to flourish.  I would wear a smile to church and in social situations but I would frequently cry to my close friends and family.  It was almost impossible for me to speak of my home life without deluges of tears; I was drowning in self-pity and an utter sense of rejection.  I did however believe that God was a good and loving Father, I just could not understand why He would permit the negative circumstances in my life.  I prayed, I fasted and I used church as an escape. 

One day in prayer for the umpteenth time for my husband, I heard quite clearly, “You have a problem with rejection.”  ….You think!!!  Why was the Lord stating the obvious in my heart? 

I proceeded with doing what I saw other members of my church at that time, do.  I went into spiritual warfare against the spirit of rejection.   I would pray fervently against what I thought was an assignment from the devil that was following me from my birth.  The more that I prayed, the worse rejection came.  

This insanity continued for a few months then I met a new ministry that taught the truth about suffering.  This new church helped me gain understanding about why my heavenly Father would use suffering in my life.  The truth really sets us free, and I became much more at peace with my situation and went from feeling helpless and hopeless to feeling empowered and honored to be entrusted by God with suffering. I eventually became a member of that church and began attending more classes that showed me the errors of the Faith and Prosperity Lie.

REJECTION IS NOT THE PROBLEM

Months later, at a family gathering in my parents’ home, I encountered a priest that had previously rejected me because I was no longer a practicing Catholic.  I was happily Born-again, believing in Jesus and doing bible study, but to him, I was on my way to hell because I was not practicing Catholicism.  Upon seeing this priest, my heart was free and I greeted him kindly, he made his snide remarks, but my heart remained free.  What had devastated me before, now, had no effect on my joy.  I had such peace, even love for this man.  This was quite a contrast to how I felt about him only one year before.

As I walked away from my conversation with the priest, I heard in my spirit, “Your problem was WITH rejection; not rejection itself.  Rejection comes with the territory of following Jesus.  The world rejected him and the world will reject you, it comes with the job.  Your problem is PRIDE.”

God exposed me to the knowledge of the truth so that I would be able to understand my lesson about rejection.  I would never have understood what I had heard without having learned more of the word of God.  Thank God for that day, because that lesson has helped me to see my life through different eyes.  There was no demon of rejection trying to kill me, but it was my pride that kept me defeated with negative emotions.

PRIDE THE ENEMY IN REJECTION

Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall.  Proverbs 16:18

Our heavenly Father teaches and trains us, his children, so that we can become partakers of his holiness, it may not feel pleasant at the time, but it will result in the peaceful fruit of righteousness if we endure (Hebrews 12:10-11).   So be encouraged my sisters and brothers in the Lord, if at present you are suffering rejections of any sort, knowing that your heavenly Father who is in control is training you in agape love. 

Pride has to be destroyed in our lives because it will always oppose the love of God from flowing through us to a dying world.  The less we want for ourselves is the more we are able to love (Paul Trip).

Fellow saints, we live in this world but we are not of it (John 17:16).  We are ambassadors of Christ (2 Cor 5:20) and we must be trained to walk in His Spirit (Gal 5:25) not regarding any other agenda.  Pride will always seek its own agenda for recognition and create in us the desire to feel special; only Jesus is special.

We are now in Christ, so let us consider ourselves as dead unto sin (Romans 6:11) and allow His life in us to shine. 

The knowledge that we have been fully accepted into the beloved is a great comfort, and I pray that the brilliance of God’s love for us will overwhelm any feeling of self-pity from any worldly relationships.   How can we, who have received such an amazing gift of grace and acceptance from God through Christ, be justified in our pity parties?  Let us cancel all such future parties and rather rejoice in the liberty which enables us to love those who hate us.

⁴ According as he hath chosen us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before him in love:

⁵ Having predestinated us unto the adoption of children by Jesus Christ to himself, according to the good pleasure of his will,

⁶ To the praise of the glory of his grace, wherein he hath made us accepted in the beloved.  Ephesians 1:4-6 KJV

We were chosen and made accepted by God our Father, for no other reason than that it was the pleasure of His will.  I pray that God will illuminate that truth in our hearts and that we would endeavor to view all our relationships through the lens of where we are seated in Christ.